A song, a familiar song. So familiar that I am able to sing along. A song I knew since I was very young, but didn't know the meaning of the song until I was 21. Now I understand why there are so many songs about love between man and woman. I once thought love songs were so annoying, so cheesy, I even slightly hated them at one point.
In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father once told me the exact sentence in this song - there's a danger in loving somebody too much. At that moment, I understood what he meant and why he said so. "But if you never open your heart to someone and put in all your best into the relationship, how can one be able to truly understand the essence of the mystical realm of love", I told myself.
Now at least I know how painful is the emotional pain, and it is way more painful and unpleasant than physical pain. Putting all you have in one bet is very dangerous indeed, but life is characterized by fluctuation, the greater the up and down, the clearer may be the definition of life. I must say taking risk is not always necessary in many circumstances, but I never regret that bet even though I lost. Perhaps when you start to focus less on the lost, you will realize how much you actually had already gained.
If ever I have children, and if one day they ask me whether they should make the bet, I will certainly tell them to bet in all. If they are hurt in the end, I will provide a safe harbour for them, just my parents did for me.
When we think of the word "Asians", we often think of Chineses or Koreans or Japaneses or east Asia in general. But Asia is a huge continent, a vast land that spread over thousands and thousands of kilometers. And Kares Le Roy created this project, the 56000km project across Asia, bringing to us the isolated, the forgotten of Asia through photos and videos, as to say, "All these are part of Asia too."
I want to point out one thing which is, Kares Le Roy is French. I find it interesting because it seems to me that French loves to travel, especially backpacking. I even think I somehow picked up this travel habit by simply staying in France. Not saying that French gave me the idea of backpacking, but they certainly taught me how to backpack.
Back to Kares' works. It is worth mentioning because I think his works are very well done. I say this because watching his videos makes me want to go to wherever he had been to, like now! I always want to travel like Marco Polo or Sven Hedin. Their works really inspired me. And now this guy, Kares Le Roy. One day I am going to do something like what they did.
Just like I mentioned before, Asia is really vast. For example, after travelling to China and India, I just realized that so many people have never seen the sea, the ocean and the horizon before. I found myself in many peculiar occasions explaining to them, how the sea and the horizon look like. I had to explain in ways I had never thought of before, in adjectives I had never used before, in emotions I had never felt before. Something so obvious and so familiar to me, isn't that obvious and that familiar after all.
The link to the videos of the 56000km project by Kares Le Roy :
11h20,I was waiting for my turn. I was going to start at 11h33 exactly. It was a time trial, a race against time. The final destination could be seen from the starting point, high up on top of the hill. One had to raise his head up so high to see it. The finishing point was merely a restaurant named Chez Le Pèr'Gras, but it almost looked like a temple, a sacred place and I was merely a humble pilgrim, waiting my turn to get a closer look at the shrine. I was nervous. But I knew nothing can be done at this moment, it was too late, too late even to give up.
I knew this race from Ville de Grenoble facebook page. This event was posted on this page, and my friend tagged me in the comment section. No provocative intention from him, but my ego had put up a challenge to myself. I was like : Hell yeah! You wanna challenge me, com'on! Challenge accepted! I thought 2km ride with 320m elevation should be a piece of cake. I had climbed many hills before, this one should be the same. So I registered without any hesitation, two days before the race.
There were 111 contestants in total. Only a few who looked like noob and I was one of them. Everyone was dressed up professionally. Most of them belonged to cycling clubs, easily identified by the cycling suits they wore. I wore only a proper cycling pants and a singlet top, feeling under-dress, but couldn't had done otherwise either because I didn't have a full suit. From their outfits and their tanned skins and their expensive bikes, I suddenly realized that it was going to be a serious business.
11h30, I was already lining up at the starting line. Three more contestants in front of me. Pedals clipped in, heart rate checked, everything checked, but I thought : Am I ready? An unknown road ahead, a monster waiting for me to defeat. The funny thing was, it was going to be the first time I climbed this hill, yet it is so near from where I stay. A voice burst through the walkie-talkie of the referee, contestant number 52 had abandoned the race midway and number 26 was no show. "Is it that hard?" I was thinking, while looking up at the destination and then looked back down at my bike.
"30 seconds left.", referee said. "This is it, point of no return. You either do it or die trying.", I told myself. "Never climb up this hill before and I am going to climb it now in this race?! And no proper training beforehand?! I am probably crazy already.", I thought. Then the referee said, "And 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO!"
The starting first hundred meters were fine, easy slope. After a pleasant downhill, here came the real starting point of the race, started off with 18% slope all the way to the first hairpin, the longest part of the route. When I reached this point, my head shrugged, scared of the sheer steepness. "This is really a monster!", I thought. Changed to the largest gear possible of the rear wheel, and climbed.
Perspired, my singlet was wet already. I could barely breath, and it was not even the first hairpin yet. Pain accumulating, from my legs and rapidly to my butt and my back. I had never felt such physical pain before. But I knew I couldn't stop, at least not on the slope. Because otherwise, I would roll backwards and lose control, the last option nobody wanted.
The first hairpin. I had to stopped, to catch my breathe, watching number 27 and 25 passed by me. The starting of the second slope was only 10%, absolutely a saving grace. Got onto my bike again, taking the second slope. Soon, the second hairpin reached, but I had to stopped again, not because of tiredness but the slope ahead of me, the third slope. 25% marked on the surface of the paved road, the slope was horrifying. Anyone new to the slope would have his spirit broken down by it. Pain at my back, and now psychologically shocked. Spectators at the second hairpin were really helpful though, giving motivation and all, really helping me to overcome this psychological barrier. I am not sure how long I took to recuperate, but it certainly felt like forever. Many thoughts flew through my head, even wanted to surrender at one point. More and more contestants passing by now.
"Just try to reach!", I told myself. The slope was so steep that I couldn't clip into pedals by myself. Kind spectators helped me, balancing my bike while I clipped in. And then my head down, my eyes closed and pedaled, not even dare to look ahead. I felt like my body and my bike together was a thousand tonnes dead weight, and my spirit was the only one who dragging them up the hill. "Pedal and don't think.", I whispered to myself and so I pedaled.
Third hairpin, I stopped again. But this time with a sense of achievement by conquering the 25%. Now the finishing line was just literally around the corner. Not long before I realized I had already up my bike again and pedaling. I could almost taste the cold breeze on top of the hill, but I knew I could not push too hard yet. So I zig-zagged, cutting down the steepness. At this point, the slope was still around 18%, but it didn't matter anymore. Again I closed my eyes, head down and kept pushing. The fourth hairpin just flew by and the fifth was already in front of me.
Arriving at the fourth hairpin
More spectators at this point, especially at the sixth, the final hairpin. I couldn't feel my legs anymore, but they kept on moving, perhaps by instinct or even by habit as I had forced them to perform one and one task only : pedaling. A final burst of energy, a final shoutout to myself, I was surprised that I still got some gear inside me for picking up the pace a bit.
Finally there was the finish line. The DJ shouted out my name as I passed through the line. I heard applause, but it wasn't for me but for those strong climbers coming from behind me. It didn't matter, because I reached and finished what I had started. Steping down from the bike, my legs shaking. I could barely stand at this point. But the view was breathtaking and the breeze was soothing as I had imagined. It wasn't the first time I was up there, and the view wasn't new to me. But this time was different. Something great was done and I felt completeness and contentment.
A girl came to me, took out my number plat from my bike and gave me a cup of water. Holding the cup, I realized not just my legs but my whole body was shaking of tiredness. "I need to sit down, or even lie down.", I thought. And so I parked my bike and sat of a ledge, relaxing, feeling wonderful.
Final push!
After that, there was a lunch, included in the registration fee. They provided very good food and there were all kind of festivities up there, even two bands to spice up the ambiance. I had a good proper lunch. Sitting down together with other cyclists, we were chit-chatting and all. When I said that this was the first time I climbed up this hill, they were astonished. Their astonishment was no surprise to me but it did give me a boost of pride within myself, and proud to be sitting among the professionals. They all then shared their first climb of this hill and also other hard climbs. I was listening humbly most of time.
The results were out, and no surprise I ranked last with exactly 30 mins 2 seconds. No chance of qualifying the second round, and being so tired, I just wanted to go home and take a nap after the lunch. But before that, I called my parents to share my happiness with them at the top of the hill. Then I packed up my stuffs, took my bike and headed downhill.
A sense of achievement was what I wanted, and I found it yesterday. It would be such a cliche if I say "I will come back to conquer this monster again next year" here. Yes, I probably would. But now I don't think I would climb that hill again, at least not for a short period of time. The truth is, that hill, that 25% slope really broke me down mentally. Today I feel better physically now but I am still recuperating mentally from the shock.
