Canaan

Israel or Palestine, it is really a problematic to designate the land I am going to talk about with either one of them, because neither Israel nor Palestine represents the entirety of the land. I will just use its old name, Canaan. From the historical point of view, Canaan is really an interesting place. This land is considered holy by three monotheist religions, namely Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. 

I always want to travel to Canaan. I read both Bible and Quran, although the Bible I read is overly simplified and I didn't finish Quran because I find the writing so boring. Regardless of the accuracy, many epic events had happened there. It has always been the most awesome land ever in my mind and Jerusalem is I think the centre of all civilisations if there is ever one. I am neither Jewish, Christian, nor Muslim, but it would be an honour to be there at this magical land, to glimpse into the past, to step on the same footprints left by many great men who had changed the history. 

However travelling there is almost impossible for me. Firstly, my passport forbids me to travel to Israel. Secondly, Israel and Palestine. The conflict is really a headache. It just seems going on and on forever. The fight keeps on going for so long, I wonder if people of both sides still remember what they are fighting for. I am always afraid to talk about it for one major reason, I don't feel like I am qualified to talk about it. It is a conflict of long history. I feel like to talk about the conflict, it needs quite some researches beforehand but I am too lazy to do it. I prefer to rely on colourful videos made by people like John Green to get information on this issue. 

I have many Muslim friends. From their posts on social media, the impression I get is that Israel is the evil one and Palestine is constantly being suppressed. Nothing judgemental on those posts since being truly unbiased is a difficult feat. I have little to no knowledge on the conflict. Nevertheless, one fact is undeniable : countless lives are lost and so much blood has been shed. The relatively central position of Canaan on a conventional map reminds me of Republic City in the Legend of Korra. I wonder what if we can replicate Republic City, relocate all UN buildings to Canaan and rebuild the land as a neutral zone, a common ground for every human being. It is a silly thought but I think it is dream-worthy. Canaan shouldn't be a place of conflict. Canaan should be a heaven on earth.       

UT2004 is amazing

Unreal Tournament games series, probably only 90's kids will know about them. I always feel so sorry for UT franchise for being so little mentioned nowadays while some games like FIFA keeps producing the same shit and people are still buying them. Along with Quake, they both can be considered as the granddaddies of all FPS games. 

Recently my friend just gave me UT2004. I played it and now I can't pull myself out of this game. UT2004 is hands down amazing, mic drops and end of story! I played UT99 and UT2003 before, I can safely say that UT2004 tops them both. It is the combination of UT99 and UT2003, and more new maps, more new weapons. Some classical maps that I like alot in UT99 but omitted from UT2003 such as FaceClassic, Morpheus3, Deck17 and Hyperblast2 are back in UT2004. The sniper rifle is back too. 

Nostalgia is certainly strong with UT2004, but it also brings some new fun stuff to the table, notably the new gameplay Onslaught and vehicles. Personal favorites : Goliath and Leviathan, they are absolutely a treat to manoeuvre. Shooting down some vehicles or buildings with either of them is the most satisfying feeling ever. 

I first knew about UT through my high school tuition teacher. My teacher and my tuition friends and I used to play LAN UT games after the tuition, good old times. I was born in a below average Malaysian family, I had never had a personal computer until I was 14. Games I had played before UT were all in 8 bit. Playing Unreal for the first time, with such high quality graphic was an eye-opener. Soon I became an UT fan. I was never a gamer and I knew very little about gaming. But UT is the only game I know in depth. 

I haven't played UT3 yet. Seeing some UT3 gameplay videos, it is not bad but I think the graphic detail in UT3 is too much for the eye, thus a bit tiring to look at. UT2004's graphic is just right. I feel like UT2003 is the black sheep of the family. If we forget about UT2003, UT99 + UT2004 + UT3 would form a solid trilogy. Just like Nolan's Batman trilogy, UT2004 is the Dark Knight, the best among all three.  

Gone Nakamura

Electronics exam at 8 am. At 7.30 am, I was getting prepared, gloves, head light, and rear light on. Trying to be chill, telling myself this exam didn't make the day any different even though it was an important exam. It was just another winter morning, another normal day. On my bike, I should be able to arrive at school before 8 if I left home at 7.40 am. I didn't want to arrive too early either because I didn't want to wait there in the exam room, because I got more anxious the longer I had to wait for an exam to start. It was time. So I got to downstairs to get my bike. 

"Where is my bike?!!" was my first thought. It was hard to believe. I never thought my bike to be stolen there. The building I stay in needs digicode to enter. I parked it downstairs, it was still within the building which should be safe. There is a bar at the ground floor of the building. So the only other ways to get to my bike are either through the bar or through the back door. But the back door is always locked, it can only be opened by my landlord. Plus I always lock my bike even I park it downstairs. 

I panicked for awhile. I went to the bar to ask the bartender for more details about last night from 7 pm to 12 am, the time where my bike could only be stolen. However, they didn't notice much. That is understandable, I knew my hope was slim anyway. My landlord was there at the bar that morning too. He told me earlier that morning when he had passed by there, the bike had been long gone. There was no time to deal with the lost. I needed to get to the exam in time. So I hopped onto tram and to school I went. 

I know, that whole day, there was no smile on my face. It was a familiar feeling, since this was not the first time my bike got stolen. A shred of anger kept lingering in me. I so wanted to punch the person who stole it. It was a white Nakamura, my bestie for three years. Most people's bikes are normally broken down or in bad shape after 2 years because most people don't really give a damn to constantly maintain their bikes. However, my Nakamura was still kicking ass after three years, still able to climb mountains and shit. It was almost my legs. Without Nakamura, I was a handicapped.  

It feels strange that how much connection there can be between a human and an inanimate object. It suddenly reminds me of Cast Away and Wilson. While dealing with the anger and the sadness from the lost in the tram on the way back home after the exam, I was also wondering if I should immediately buy a new bike. Sitting in the tram, a quick look around, then I remembered the reason why I had chose to cycle in the first place : public transport was too depressing for me. 

Yes, I find public transport depressing but I can't tell exactly why. I have been a cyclist for so long now, another fact also becomes crystal clear : I am no longer fit to take public transports. I am just so used to the feeling of freedom on a bike, free to go anywhere, anywhen, no fix charted route like public transports do and especially no worry of annoying public transport strike. On my bike, I feel in charge of my own time management. 

In the tram, I suddenly felt trapped. At that precise moment, I became aware that getting a new bike was no longer a choice. It was a must. 

   

  

The loop is strong with Predestination

I knew this film through Chris Stuckmann's recent review of it. Through his review, my expectation was already set up high at the begining of this film. I knew I was going to at most get some mindf**k, but nothing too ridiculous. I thought I was ready but ....... HOLYSHIT!!!

From the trailer, we know that time travel can make someone disorientated. No need time travel, I already feel disorientated watching this movie. If you think Inception is hard to follow, then don't watch this film because you either won't understand what's happening and think that it is a bad movie, or try to figure what's happening and die because your head explodes. 

I think that very few people are mentally prepared for this film. Mindf**k at the extreme level, so extreme that I actually felt a little bit dizzy after finishing the film. To sit through this film, I had to use my brain so much that it hurt a little. The ending though, all I can say is it's not a happy ending. The ending makes me feel trapped, trapped inside a slowly collapsing metal box, and sad, sad because of the inevitability and general purposelessness.    

If you read the blog I wrote about Snowpiecer, you know that I am a little hipter-ish. The lesser known is a movie, the bigger the chance that I would love it. However, I love Predestination not entirely because of the hispter-ish reason this time. I love it because it is truly, like Chris said, awesome.