I completed my first marathon!

I completed the Penang Bridge Marathon! It might be hard to believe but this was the first marathon I had ever participate in. I ran 5k, 10k, half-marathon, and even an ultra, just strangely never a marathon before. However it was not an easy 42.195k, mainly due to my mental hurdle. Going into the race day, my confidence was at all time low, to say the least.

Failing to complete the Penang Eco run for the second time in a row, severe altitude sickness while hiking towards EBC that resulted in a heli-evac to the hospital, I was seriously doubting my capability and the limit of my body. "Am I becoming weak?" I questioned myself frequently. Although the COT was set at 7 hours, which I had previously considered generous, my goal was simply to finish. 

The last time I joined Penang Bridge Marathon was 11 years ago. I was still in high school that time! "How time flies..." I sighed as if I was already an old man. I arrived at the starting point 15mins before gun off, just the way I liked: arrive in time and get into business straight away. The race started off good.

Slowly and steadily, I covered the first 20km with relative ease. After that I was kinda half running and half walking, and taking my time at every water station to drink and eat. The good thing about the marathon was the pacers. Until this point I knew I was way in front of 5hours30-pacers while 5hour-pacers were within striking distance. The hope of finishing within 5 hours was not too far off. So far so good but not for long. Some angry clouds were brewing. Occasional wind brought a few raindrops brushing my skin. A thunder storm was approaching.

After I reached the turning point at the Seberang Perai end of the bridge, the storm hit all of us at full force. It was not just raining cats and dogs, it rained sideways! The wind was not in my favor either, blowing directly against me while I was heading towards the direction of Penang island. It actually hurt when the rain hit my face. I could barely open my eyes. Forget about running. Walking through the storm was difficult enough in itself. Slower than ever, the 5hours30 pacers ran pass me...

Shit!

I couldn't totally slow down either. While the rain hurt, what worried me the most was the lighting. What was left between me and the finish line was all on the bridge and it was super exposed. It could strike any one the runners, anytime. At this point, the 5 hour target was far long gone in my head. I was just trying my best to run, hoping to get off the bridge as soon as possible. 

After the mid point of the bridge with 7k to go, luckily the lighting and wind slowed down but the rain was still pouring. Surprisingly, I still managed to squeeze out some strength, pick up some speed, and actually took over the 5hours30 pacers. "Let's see if I could chase the 5hours pacers."

Spirit high again! I felt like I flied through the last 5k, taking over tonnes of people along the way. The feeling was soooooo gooooood... This was definitely the highlight of my entire run. I even tried to sprint through the final kilometer. 5hours and 19mins. My finish time. 

Finishing the marathon, what I felt was not accomplished but happily relieved. With it, I regained my confidence in long distance foot race again. The feel good run through the last 5k made me feel like I could actually do better. This feeling of hitting the sweet spot has become the new cornerstone of my passion in running.

I come back to serve my country

In conjunction with the upcoming Independence Day of Malaysia, it only makes sense to write something patriotic. So let me share something I did which I am still proud of until present day. It is not about the sportive competitions in which I was the sole Malaysian representative. It is about a decision.

After I finished my study, I had a choice: to return home or to stay in France to search for a job. By right there shouldn't even be a choice at all. As JPA scholars, we were bounded by contract and required to return and work in Malaysia. But this was not clear as there were many who stayed. Apparently there were ways to "bypass" the contract if we really wanted to stay. Probably there were legitimate ways to stay and work in France. Don't ask me how because I didn't even go the distance to explore. I chose to come back to serve my bond.

In fact, staying in France would have been easier. I had been living there since I was out of secondary school. I had a job offer following my internship in CEA Grenoble. I had close friends and connections built up from school and work. Malaysia was more foreign to me during the time I had to make the decision, if you want to know the truth. Leaving France meant pushing me out of my comfort zone, totally uprooting my life. But still I chose to come back.

Reason? First responsibility, and second, I want to be part of the change. In 2008, I left to France while DAP took over the governance of Penang state. Rarely but every time I came back to Penang for vacation, the positive changes were hard to ignore. This have gave me hope, that the same could be done on the scale of the whole country, that Malaysia could be changed for better. I have to admit that Malaysia still has many problems. Rather than complaining about it, so I chose to come back to be the change, however minuscule it is.

That's why I am proud to have voted during the GE14 and witness the history first hand. That's why I am proud to pay my road tax and my income tax. Not to say that I am happy to pay tax but I am proud that I am fulfilling my civil responsibility and the tax money is going benefit the people of Malaysia. Conflicting but truthful, I am unhappily proud to pay for summons too.

Until today, I can still get people questioning my decision to return home and work here in Malaysia. "Why don't you stay there?" or "Where did you come back?" I always have the same answer: I come back to serve my country.

Satan and 50 shades of Doré

Paradise Lost by John Milton. I love to collect book and it is one of my proudest collection. I didn't know it was a classic when I bought it. During my first encounter with the book, it was the illustrations that caught my fascination. And then the epic poem. 

But first the poem. The story follows Satan, from the first rebellion against the God to the attempt to deceive Eve and later on Adam to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge that eventually leads to their banishment from the Garden of Eden. I don't know much about the composition of a poem but what I can tell is it successfully brings out the sense of empathy to Satan. I remember clearly when I first read it when I was 17, I was estranged by my admiration to Satan because I knew I shouldn't. You admire someone, most of time is because you see some quality within him that you wish to possess. Satan definitely is determined because after countless defeats, he still keeps on chasing after his goal, although the goal is an dishonest one. Reading through the verses, you almost want Satan to succeed.

The defeat of Lucifer (Satan) and his army.

If John Milton is conveying nuance of evil through words, then Gustave Doré is doing the same but through illustrations. No better candidate to paint the illustrations for the poem than him. Paradise Lost has been illustrated by multiple artists, but in my opinion Doré's interpretation fits impeccably. Unlike William Blake's hallucinative depiction, Doré's illustrations are arguably more realistic and more grandiose. Romanticism at its core, his illustrations are done through wood engraving. Without colour, the use of light and shades is executed masterfully. Just like film noir, this eventually furthers the already pervasive feeling of fatalism of the poem. Funny that Gustave's last name is "Doré" which means golden in French but his most popular works are all in black and white.

The version I have is Chinese translated but I have also read the original English version. I would say the original one is much better but I also know I can't be too demanding from a translated version because human language is hard and translation is even harder. Anyway Paradise Lost is definitely a classic and Doré's illustrated version is the best.

It is crucial to follow Najib

"It is crucial to follow Najib's facebook page and to like his posts occasionally", I always remind myself. I do so because I don't want to be stuck in the invisible filter bubble surrounding me. With the 14th general election around the corner and the recent news of Mark Zuckerberg's testimony in front of the US congress, I feel like it is important to let more people aware of this fact:

Filter bubble exists and it is harmful to democracy.

What is a "filter bubble"? The term is coined by internet activist Eli Pariser. It is probably wiser if the concept is explained by the author himself in his TedTalk, Beware online "filter bubbles". It exists everywhere online, on every major websites, most importantly Facebook. Undeniably, Facebook is how most of us get the information nowadays. At its root, Facebook is just a company. Like any other companies, its goal is to make profit and it turns out our attention and our time on spent on Facebook is the product it is selling. That is where the filter bubble comes in, to filter out all the "unnecessary" and choose to give only what it thinks we want to see, to grab our attention, to make us linger longer. All of this has been explained by Vlogbrothers' video on the afro-mentioned testimony by Mark Zuckerberg, Who is in Control?

As a Penangite, it is no surprise that I am a supporter of the Pakatan Harapan. Living in Penang, I am surrounded by DAP (Democratic Action Party) supporters, praises to our beloved chief minister Lim Guan Eng, and critics to the federal government and party in power Barisan National. I must agree that DAP has done a good job on developing Penang state, but I am afraid that I have been living in an echo chamber. The same is happening with my Facebook feed. My filter bubble has determined that I should only see DAP and Pakatan Harapan's content.

I always think that ignorance is the poison to democracy. Only knowledge and transparency is the key. That's why I think filter bubble is harmful to democracy. By staying in our own filter bubble, seeing only one side of the coin, we are no different than those in the rural area without internet access, those we claim are being fooled by the BN. Any idea needs to be challenged and debated, in hope of the synthesis of a newer better idea. Staying in the echo chamber won't get us there.

To quote Hank Green: "If you don't control your feed, the feed controls you." So I figure, to burst out of the bubble, I need to tweak the system. I can't change the environment I am living in but I can regain control of my Facebook feed. I purposely follow Najib Razak's and MCA's Facebook pages, and like their contents, to let the underlying algorithm knows that I also want to see more of their contents. Although their contents might not be in line with our point of view, it is important not to be impulsive. We should go against our will and "like" the opposite views.

Yes, to save the democracy, we need to follow Najib. 

  

Let the Bullets Fly is a masterpiece

Rarely does a Chinese film simultaneously a popcorn action-tastic flick and a philosophical artsy piece. Most of the time it is either like Wolf Warrior 2 and The Great Wall where you need to just shut your brain off to enjoy it, or like In The Mood For Love where the pacing is so slow and the cinematography is so in emphasis to borderline cringe-worthy. But there comes the masterpiece "Let the Bullets Fly".

It is set in a fictional small town named Goose Town. After watching it for countless times, I still have no idea how the layout of the town is or where the locations are relatively to each other. But it doesn't matter because that's not the point. There are some CG shots and they are fake as hell. But it doesn't matter because that's not the point. What matter the most are the characters. The film is centered around a fast paced three-way chess game among a Robin Hood like bandit (by Jiang Wen) with a loyal gang, a cowardly governor (by Ge You) driven only by greed, and a kingpin mobster (by Chow Yun Fat) who actually runs the show in the town. The bandit is trying to take down the mobster and distribute his wealth to the people; the mobster is trying to kill the bandit; and the governor is trying get as much as possible for himself in between this chaos. How they try to outdo each other is just so much fun to watch.

For a long time I couldn't articulate why exactly I adore this film. Could it be the ever cool looking protagonist with my favorite round teashade? Or his even cooler gang of bandits who hold guns sideway like a gangster? Or could it be the dark humour? Now I know why. That day I was scanning through channels on TV looking for stuff to watch. There was "Inglorious Basterds" playing on one channel and and "Let the Bullets Fly" on another. Then something in me just clicked : "Let the Bullets Fly" is a very Tarantino-y movie.

"Let the Bullets Fly" is funny, brainy, dialogue-driven, and never shy of over-the-top violence, just like every single Tarantino's film. That's why my favorite scene of the movie is the the dinner scene in between the three main characters. The scene perfectly encapsulate all the characteristics I previously mentioned. Just like a Tarantino's film, I won't be surprised if there are fanatics who can memorize all the instantly classic dialogue.

Since it is dialogue-driven, I don't think it works as well when you don't speak mandarin and watch the subbed version, let alone watching the dubbed version. Many times the witty dialogue is playing with words and homonyms. Not only it needs an understanding of the language itself to truly appreciate it, it need some historical context too. For example the dinner scene is clearly paying homage to the "Feast at Hong Gate". 

However I would still strongly recommend everybody to give it a try. If you reading this and you can understand mandarin, I would also recommend this in-depth review by Fast Food Movie. I have never thought that we could interpret the movie this way.